it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
Farmville is her only friend.
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
Randomize
