I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Randomize
