then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
I smell like Dick and happiness
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Randomize
