Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
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