He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
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