Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Randomize
