I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
Never let your siblings swipe right.
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Randomize
