im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
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