Why did I cab home last night?
Because you said you were drunk, sad, and someone called you a hooker.
So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
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