Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
Randomize
