Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
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