i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
I accidentally broke up with him while I was drunk which is really too bad since I'd just gotten a birth control perscription so we could start having sex.
Do you think he'd take me back if I said "dude, we need to get back together or this IUD is going to have an existential crisis for not realizing its full potential"?
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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