Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
I feel like abortions should bother me more
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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