good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
