SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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