he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize
