you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
I supernannyed him into submission
Randomize
