I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
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