oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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