Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Randomize
