fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
Redeem this text for a blowjob
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
Green mimosas i think yes
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
Randomize
