Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
