if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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