Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
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