She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
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