it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
Randomize
