if i can run in heels then i can drive
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
I think I have vodka in my lungs
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
Randomize
