Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
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