Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
Randomize
