Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
