you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
I am available for nakedness
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Randomize
