hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
