some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
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