This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
I forgot how hot balto sounded
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
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