here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Randomize