He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
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