I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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