he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
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