Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
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