it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
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