Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Randomize
