Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
God I need to hump something, right now.
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize