no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
No subtext here. People are naked.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
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