it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
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