ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
Randomize
