I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
