shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
Randomize