Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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