are you still at the devil's house?
i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
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