Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
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