I love black thongs
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize