we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
Randomize
