so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Randomize
