when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
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