He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
