I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
I woke up with a black eye and dim memories of announcing that i had super powers. I shoved my pockets full of canned tuna and tried to jump off the balcony. And then my boyfriend called the cops.
so you're not coming in to work today?
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
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