he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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