yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
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