she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
Randomize
