So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
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